i m in the phrase of lacking energy....i don know..it is jsut draining......
somehow my english class is not as fun.....ppl are kinda snotty....but i kinda find ppl snotty everywhere.....is it orange county or is it US? why ppl are so mean....why ppl are so fucking snob....
i wonder anyone feel the same in the OC...that ppl have this natural guard against anyone else, this natural defensive mechanism, dont get near me dont talk to me, dont look at me....
i think it all start with this girl doing a presentation talking about faulkner's a rose for emily. and she was like acting all superior and tell ppl " anyone know the historical bkgrd of the story?" she seriously started of like that, dont even bother telling us her name, don even bother doing intro dont bother doing nothing, right on ask you question. so i bet in the same mentality, no one make a noise, and we are all like, right on girl, take it there, we are not gonan talk...then she was like, " if you dont know the history of it, you dont understand the story. " then she goes on....blah blah...and she jsut keep asking question like" can anyone tell me what emily symbolise?" do you see the wrongness in her tone!? so there we go, no one wanna help her, some lone sheep do answer that, and she was like ok ....and then in the end, she say" so it is very much about the post civil war south, and if you are not aware of that, you should read it more closely. " and i was like, alright, and you are assumming no one in this class read it closer than you did? and i wonder where that superiority came from, it is digusting, and she doesn even look like that. i jsut fucking hate ppl who think other ppl are lower, and somehow i feel that it is common among literature ppl, and we do that, we think the science ppl are lower, but , anyway, that girl jsut fucking get on my nerve....
i don know, haze become very mean nowadays....very mean....coz ppl ard me are throny, and i am all armed and ready to spike. well, i don know how to spike, i jsut give no fuck anymore...you know, i used to have this inclination to be nice and to be open too ppl ard me, maybe lend out a pen ,give ppl a piece of pp, watever, now i don give a damn....i jsut sit there and act cool, and look like i m telling everyone " go fuck yourself". i don know why i become like ti, i don like it, but it s wat ppl doing to me. and i m jsut defensive....
i don know, i need a change, i need to meet real people, instead of OC bitches and jerks. FUCK OC, i wanna tell everyone in my store, everyone in my school that all your fucking bitches who was born here, live in laguna beach now, and shop at the fucking the limited, you are all fuckers....i really hate this place a lot....of all those glamour and wealth, it jsut show ppl how filthy human is, how impersonal and disgusting everything is. working is the limited is a swell experience, no one even care if you literally die, no one fucking care, they tell you if you cant work on weekends if your mum is permanantly ill in the hospital, we ususally don hire ppl who has this schedule, or if you broke down crying on the floor, they are gonna tell you to go home, coz that is not very professional, or if you fucking die, no one even know it, jsut mark you off the schedule and you are gone, no one ask about you, no one has memory, your existence mean even less than that stupid 19.50 sweater, at least they gotta fill out of form if you return it or you damage it, but if you are gone, you fill in no form, you disappear, no one do inventory for employee, no one here to scan you.....

i wonder whether it is jsut my experiecne of america, that it is colder than anything, but OC is an evil place, ppl dont deserve their wealth.