have you ever admire someone so much taht you feel degraded to call it a crush.
only 4 weeks left, and there gone my eternal tuesday with my dear rock star.
told you, literature is a very intimate thing.
it is even more intimate than sex.
more intimate than your deepest secret
and you are exposed, with this intimacy, if somehow, some feeling crosses, like ghost sighting, catching the same frequency and it pass right through your body.
it is a dangerous occupation, dangerous pass time, to love literature so much.
it make me fall in love easy ,it make me always in love, in love with people who crosses my path, in love , with people who is the protagonist of this particular chapter.
sometimes loving tuesday and thursday make you loath monday and wednesday, friday, saturday and sunday.
loathing the rest, it make you love tuesday and thursday more.
sometimes i though i was listening, but i realise i was jsut watching. she say she will always call on me whenever i raise my hand. i wanna speak, but i was so scared, my hand shakes when she looks at me. i afriad i fail to impress, i afraid she is disaapointed.
i started wearing boots and pants, straight fitted, serious pants, and shirts, i am gonna dye my hair just like her.
i wrote my personal statement for UC, answer the first question in an entire conceit of a crush on literature. Literature impersonated, "it began like a crush, just one look and it took my breathe away". Maybe It is a She. maybe She is It.
sometime i confuse admiration with infatuation. and sometimes i like to mix the two up, so that it feels better, so that there is something beyond literal happening. so that my heart beat so fast that I know I am alive; so taht i have a hint of smile as if I am truely happy; so that I can think of beautiful thing as if there is soemthing woth living for.
she says gosh, how come i didnt know!
she says sorry, because she cant if me an A
she says i was so disappointed i thought you werent coming

dont mess with losers, a little kindness made you a rock star, and she start worshipping you like some god damn miracles.