i wrote my in class essay in 2 hour, fuck it, i cant imagine i did that, like racing car, holding on the wheel without knowing wat is going on out there. it is like chiong chiong chiong!!!!boom, timesup!
anyway, i still kinda love my concluding sentence, though the last paragraph was written in less then 2 min. it was Amy Tan's " Two Kinds" taken from the Joy Luck Club. i always don relate to amy tan's. I think she is producing Panda Express, Pick up Stix, in other word, Chinses fast food for American. Her too outdated image of china and the always in action parent and generation conflicts, and espeacially all the fairy tale that she made out of exotic direct translation. it is like freak show with this little brown guy with a pig tail who speak a languge that no one understand- so you see the superliteralism here in this sentence, i guess it is exactly wat amy tan does.
however, that two kinds story. i was focusing on the mother and daughter cultural conflict, and it suddenly drawn me so deep in analyzing it. that i fuckingly realise that story is such a paralell to my own life. i was so drawn to it that i make my intro and conclusion a lil personal , which is honest and sincere but a lil desperate, i just hope it might work. and i m convinced that that was the only way to make that whole paper convincing, to see it from a chinese pt of view. well, so i actually analyze that mother and that daughter in depth, to the extent that i feel like analyzing my mother and myself. it is eerie. that i seems to understand my own conflict so well. I use word like inevitable, unreconcilable, helplessness, and couple words with similar meaning in the paper, and it shock me how clear i m realizing my current situation. by saying there is no cure in the different in perspective as a result of diff in cultural and experience, it make me sad to see how logical my conclusion, to certify my conflict with my mother unsolvable in an academic paper, that if i score well, it only mean that i m so right. i even substantiate my argument with quotes in the story. damn.
then i recieve picture from my mum, she got so obsessed by that monchichi monkey tat she search all over singapore to find that new baby version of it. and she send me the picture. the picture is so large that it take up the whole screen with image, that guy next to me kinda peep at the corner of his eyes. that moment i so wanted to tell him, hey, this is my mum, that is the baby mondey doll she jsut bought, how cute! and i realise, for once, i m actually proud of her.