I don know why my life get so fucked up all of a sudden.
and i m really seriously considering whether, i should just let go of something that, one day earlier, i was so glad that i had it.
this is crazy.
well, it depends on what i really wan. but i m too young to know that.
giving up hurt more or holding on hurts more.
if i really gave it up, is it freedom or regret?
i cant weight it, it is like weighting your brain and your heart, you kill yourself both ways.
it sucks big time.
you say i m going thru this coz i m hopeless unlucky that i met you. take it or leave it.
and damn you bitch! you know how hard it is for me, all i wan is just a little gratitude, to tell me that wat i did is worth it.
and i know it is hard for you too.....
if it is so hard, why don we quit. be a loser and quit! i don give a fuck!

there is this guy come to me and ask me my name. i was sitting at where Nooke was sitting and think about my fucked up love life. he came, say, i ll be ard, if you wanna hang out you can look for me here. Nooke is not in school today again. whoever see wat i mean here, you will know why i walk ard school in my sun glasses, my eyes turn
red too often today.
and i sw this little kid playing on the grass patch, with the mother.I ask myself, do i seriously, desperately, want that?

yes you say i m 19, when you are 19, you are drunk, you din know what you wan, you fucked people up, you were jsut as crappy as me.well....it is different, no guys come to you at 19, you never love anyone so painfully like i do to you, you don know a thing about me. you suck!