my Dairy

love is a battlefield

Friday, January 30, 2004

i love my health class so much!!!
i htink i m learning a lot from it, this is like amazing, i never got this feelign from any other subject besides art and chinese...
well, here are some of my founding~

you know why you wanna pee when you are stressed?
coz our damn bio book miss out this part about the reflex action, is that, when you are in the fight or flight state, your adrenaline secretion will make your bladdar relax, why? coz if you pee and get rid of the water, you become light and more agile to flee!!!!

and then hor, i realise i m so mentally and physically unhealthy, man, i cant believe that, i m like gonna die soon sort of unhealthy.

and it is an psychological disorder to be shy, and well, i jsut realise i fullfill nearly every criteria to be a pessimist...and you know...that i m in a really stressed mode even though i don realise it.

and there is one thing, i think i have a prob with my adult identity.it says, identity will be formed as you are growing up, mainly from parent, recognition adn opinion from frds ,your evironment, your living habit and everything that you are used to, and those thing make up wat is you, things that you identified with yourself. and guess wat? i been travelling as you know, and i keep losing my identity. i lost my hk identity to come to singapore, and then i establish a new identity. my name is stella, for some ppl as haze, and i m in LEP class, so i love chinese, i m guyyish in a way and feminine outside,i m bubbly, silly, lame and artistic, i like to hang out with frds and i like going to coffee shop with them, i like to hang ard after school, i like to be outstanding, i m attention seeking,i like to look at beautiful butches and guess the real gender of ppl who appear really confusing..and the list goes on, and i m certain about them, i can list out 100 things that identify with stella kwok in singapore. and that, suppose to be my identity. then i wipe them all out, now i m beginning from 0,i have to get a new identity, jsut like i have to get a greencard despite of my singapore IC and this wil be even more ironic when i get back to hk this dec, to get my hk IC....
so my adult identity is lost,that i m starting to make one again in the STATES, that paragraph in my book really surprised me...