I m under great stress
like i stop eating as much as i would, and i feel something horrible is gonna happen even single time. which is the definition of anxiety in my psychology textbook.
and i need to sleep a lot. and it will never be enough.
I m so stressed, if i tell my psychologist that she will ask me why, and god i don know why!
it is horrible, i guess it is my mum, it is her dad. ya, of the change of status quo, and everything.
fuck that. really, at least i m happy now, it make a great diff, if not, i will be dead, literally, by now.

so i was walking home and i was thinking, wat would i do if i were a fashion designer, as many of you like to tease me about.
and i would remember that brand name-little white face, and i will definitely keep it( and if editor from Vogue ask me why, i will jsut say i like the sound of it: stupid asian american wont know the connotation anyway,and we will have some fun)
i will, produce a line of clothes,that is out right androgynous.
underlined intention is : unify gay and straight ppl by making them all look the same. so straight women can wear androgynous clothes and be hot, dyke women can wear androgynous clothes and be a women. straight guy can be flashy and be handsome, while gay guy can be flashy and be a man.
but,the market image will be totally hetersexual, main stream, hot women and handsome guy.
and we have celebrity that are die hard straight but will look hot if cross dressed.
however, guess wat, if i were to have a fashion show. I will have a semi drag show on the cat walk. so since it is all androgynous, there is no clear distinction between what is man's wear and woman's wear. and therefore i have regular beautiful female model, and very fine looking boy in the sorta FEMALE WEAR; and have drop dead cute dykes and very handsome guys in the sorta MALE WEAR. and they have to be so cute that no one notice about their sexes but appreciate them for asthetic value. but the bottom line is, it has to be totally hetersexual, and MAIN STREAM. until ppl accept and appreciate, and cant say anything coz we are not promoting wat political opinion, then the message will sink in, and they will realise, ah~~~they are just like us.